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Student’s dreams and parents: Who should be in control?

Photo by Monstera from Pexels

Can you recall the gap between clearing 12th and joining a college? I mean, of course, you can but would you? For some students, that gap turned out to be the most frustrating time of their lives. But for others, who planned and knew their next step, that gap was nothing but an exciting break between them and their dream.

Thanks to all these modern movies, school is now portrayed as a place where you create memories; create a healthy relationship with teachers and fellow classmates; bunk classes; hide in the bathrooms; skip morning assemblies (this is okay only if your school is frying you under the sun, not-really-kidding); laugh at the wrong moment, etc. But do these reasons justify the entire significance of schools?

Student’s dreams: An ignored concept

The reasons I mentioned above, popularized by movies, are all valid. But there is one thing/question that isn’t popularized enough by both movies and teachers. What about after school? And the answer cannot be an astronaut or a pilot or a bus conductor (the last one belongs to me) just because these professions are famous.

The technique, importance, and planning in choosing one’s career path aren’t popularized enough. It usually gets pushed under a pile of reasons; as a result, most of us fail to see it until the last minute and that gives parents the power to decide the future dream of their child.

Student’s dreams crushed by parents

Parents want what’s best for their child but sometimes this concern breaks certain barriers and forms dark goggles in front of their eyes and conscience. They forget or overlook what exactly their child dreams about doing in the future. This is a very common problem in eastern style upbringing—a much underrated, toxic, and deteriorating issue.

If we compare the eastern style of upbringing children adapted by parents to that of western, we’ll observe that the eastern style leans towards the authoritarian side. On the other hand, the western style of upbringing children is more on the liberal side.

Parents who adopt the eastern style of upbringing are very strict and tend to pressure their children when it comes to grades. Their expectations from their kids are set at such levels that the child fails to touch, which results in his/her self-esteem getting seriously damaged. The concept of ‘dream job’ or ‘doing something which makes the person happy’ gets thrown under the bus.

Note: I’m not criticizing or favoring either of the styles but if you’re a parent who’s reading this, please remember that concepts like Intelligence Quotient (IQ) depends on the genetic and environmental factors influencing from the prenatal period itself. In short, you cannot force it on your child.

It’s not yours but your kid’s future!

Parents tend to force their children towards fields they like. It’s either because they couldn’t fulfill their dreams in the field or the family has been in that particular field for a long time. What about your kids’ future? What do they want? Are you sure you are not projecting your own dreams onto your children? If you are, do you realize the effect of this on their self-esteem and development as individuals? Lastly, do you really want to preach the ‘follow the crowd’ philosophy to your kid? These are some questions parents must ask themselves when parenting.

While it’s natural to have dreams for your children, don’t forget to take into account that ultimately it is their life and future. Children are taught that ‘consent is the key’. Don’t they get a say in what mould they want their future to take shape into? That’s something I leave you to answer by yourself.

Conclusion

Parenting can be hard, especially when you have had a vision for your family. To all the parents out there, I understand you must’ve dreamt of your child in certain uniforms or on a rolling chair. But remember the fact that it’s their future. Isn’t having a say in their future their fundamental right to have a say in it?

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